Bears's 2nd Trip Report

[Bear]

Hi all from the R.P.

This trip is a strange one. It was one I never really thought I would take. I actually thought that Honey would get here long before I had a chance to make it back. The “fubar” going on in our government is so depressing. There is just no way that it should have taken 11 months for a man to be without his wife!! How our government got away from strong family values just is beyond my comprehension. I finally got a response from Sen. Gramm a few days before I left, just as Honey was getting notice of Packet #3 from the K-3 application. Now I wonder if his help might even actually hinder the K-3 and force everything to the I-130? I sure hope not!! But seeing the way things have gone lately I would not be surprised.

The leaving date was kind of a surprise even for me. I never really “planned” the trip. I know I would come just to see her because of the delays in the immigration process but the date was never “firm”. When I saw that she got her packet #3 and one of the 2 jobs I applied for gave me a firm “yes we will hire you”, I immediately quit my “contract” job. Then I got all the I-134 papers completed and when the new employer agreed to give me a letter for the immigration process I realized I had 2 ½ weeks I could use to be with my wife. Maybe even help her through the process and bring her home with me. I called Gina Wong at USA Global Travel in Dallas and she got my tickets and got her to hold on account moneys to pay for Honey’s ticket should it be needed.

It was fun telling Honey I was coming. She knew I would but since neither of us knew when it was a surprise. I love surprising her. There just isn’t a more beautiful girl in all of Gods creations when I see that smile of hers.

Honey had gone to Manila with Lily and others (see below – wow!!!) to be there for support and to finish her CFO requirements so she could get her passport. So meeting her in Manila was easy. The plane trip was so long!!! 21 hours from Houston, Texas to Detroit, Michigan to Nagoya, Japan to Manila, Philippines. This time I did not go 1st class and man was I cramped!! On the 1st leg I sat with an elderly Filipina from Tampa Bay area and her mother who were heading back home (not sure why). I ended up waiting on them the whole trip? Every one was saying I adopted them. One was in a wheel chair and the other on a walker. All I did was stop them from having to move around unnecessarily and see that they got the help they requested. Many of the Filipinas on the trip complimented me for helping.  Honestly I just thought I was being polite and as my mother had raised me to do.

On the second leg I sat by a Filipina Gynecologist and talked about the babies I’d be making pretty soon (Gossshhhhhh!!!! – hehehe). She was a very nice person. She gave me a reference to a great Lasik doctor here in Manila – so now if I could get Honey to let me (Plsssssss). She is so paranoid I will get hurt!? She travels around the world like most doctors going to different conventions and so forth. She had just left one in New Jersey and was going to one in 2 weeks in Sidney. She related an amazing story to me about her niece I thought I would add to this trip report. The niece was 17. She went to a nightclub here in Manila and had herself sold? What? Yes, sold? An American wrestler bought her. They fell in love and he got her pregnant. The family likes him and wanted them to get married but the Catholic Church would not allow it until she was 18 (what-she had a child?) The doctor took this girl to the side and told her that everyone in the family decided she better not mess up and had better be a good wife and do her husband right. They are now here in the states. I was somewhat surprised at the story but it is good to hear/see that some families here are not after what they can get from Kanos. She also says she thinks she might be able to help with the business I am trying to get started. I think it pays to be open at times.

The trip started off pretty hard. All I could think about was Honey and the thought of her hair, her scent, feeling her arms around me, get that awesome kiss of hers, feeling that complete and totally un-inhibited love I feel when I am near her. Since I flew Northwestern this time I landed at the old Airport. Should have looked up the old advice about what and where to go. As we landed I started to panic a little about wondering if I would have a hard time finding Honey but the Filipinas I had befriended on the trip made sure I got through everything quite easily. Left the baggage claim crossed the street, went down the ramp and looked across the street – there she was waving at me!!! I made my way cross the street (who needs cross walks – I know they taxis will stop!). Gave her the biggest “bearhug” and hiss she had had in near a year. I said, “Where do we go?” That’s when I noticed the humidity; I was in a long sleeve shirt. I know Houston is humid but no one will ever convince me that any place in the USA is as bad as Manila or Davao for that matter, humidity-wise.

We grabbed each other’s and hand and after looking like a “dufus” trying to get through a gate with my bag we headed across the street to a waiting cab. He had been waiting an hour already. I thought oooops here’s a big tip. But it was actually only P500, which I thought was great. As we walked toward the cab Honey suddenly stopped me and there, sitting on a curb waiting, was Lily and Helen. Helen!? Yes that Helen!! All I can say is Zebson you let a gorgeous, intelligent Filipina get away and I know a lot more than you told everyone else. Things like she gave up a scholarship to the UK to be with you, that you would curse her in front of her family which caused her all kinds of grief with them, that you abandoned her in Baguio with P5000 and a letter telling her to find someone else.  Yet she still loved you enuff to see it through the Fiancée Visa process, that you never helped her financially while she was here in the states and even told her not to eat your food, and that she went and stayed with a Filipino family to take care of an elderly man there – NOT TO SEE SOME OTHER GUY LIKE YOU TOLD EVERYONE ELSE. Rather than believe her or even ask you went behind her back to a co-worker and asked them. Where as, she is now trying to immigrate to Holland to marry another guy, this guy it was after, you not during or before you. She didn’t defend herself here because she didn’t want to cause others problems and that you always hid the fact you even posted here, to her.
(addition 1/28/06 - I remembber on this trip meeting "Jona who became one of my wifes best friends because they were both from Davao.  She married a guy from Alabama who we visit with and chat ofte.  She showed me e-mails from Jebson courting her while Zebson was supposedly living with Helen in the states.  I hate Jerks!)

The cab trip to the Palm Hotel was like before. It was late night, around midnight and as we drove, I actually recognized many places. Everyone was teasing us saying there would be no sleeping tonight, even the cab driver. Well, I know they were right but… hehehe.

This morning we got up and went down for breakfast. While sitting at the table another Kano heard Honey and I talking. He came over to ask me for advise on how and what to file, whether or not to marry here or there. I referenced him to Mag-Anak and Planet-Love and gave him all the info I could about the different visas.

Honey is sleeping now, I think she not get much sleep last night. When she wakes up we’ll get some money changed and pick up Lily and Helen and go to the Zoo here in Manila.

More to come.

Chapter 2
Please note that this is a report of my observations and only my opinions. It isn’t meant to be factual, insulting or argumentative just an observance of what I experienced.

The weather is still humid here. It doesn’t matter the temp, hot or cold.

The 3rd day here Honey and I rented a car to drive us a round to some of the sites here in Manila. Seeing as how everyone said the Zoo was not very appealing we decided to go to the Zoo at Tagaytay. This is a city south of Manila famous for the extinct volcano Taal, and the area where Imeda Marcos built her “Palace in the sky”.

There were quite a few of us in that car. We had tried to rent a van but didn’t request one soon enough and got a car. The total cost was P2000 for the car and driver – 24 hours. There are quite a few Filipinas here waiting interviews and getting physicals, etc. that asked to join us. All cost the same so, “yeah”. Of course, I was the only “gwapo” Kano there.

The zoo by American standards was extremely lacking but not devoid of uniqueness that is Filipino. I was amazed to see one of my relatives, an American “brown” bear floating in a nice pool of water. A very big one too. On one side of him was a cage of monkeys and orangutans, begging for food of course, and on the other side was a series of tiger cages. Fellas the protection around these tiger cages was so minor that if you were stupid enough you could put your hand in the cage and attempt to pet one of these monstrosities. But only if you didn’t care about that hand, arm and what ever else they could pull through the bars, becoming dinner for one a half dozen roaring 1-ton felines. To get to the tiger cages you went up a railed series of steps and down a railed latter when finished. Almost like they were in some sort of “tree house”. At the bottom of the latter, if you fell, you would find yourself dinner for some of the biggest alligators I have ever seen in my life and I come from an area where we have some big ‘uns.

The Zoo overlooked a wonderful view of the hills and islands around Tagaytay but the humidity was as near overwhelming. as the view. We took lots of pictures of course. We decided to eat here and ordered a fish, chicken, rice and soup. I’m still about 40 pounds from what I’d like to weigh and since the surgery on my stomach I just do not eat much. But that didn’t stop everyone from trying to feed me more. Its great though, I’d just look up and Honey would go “No! He can’t have that!” Gossshh! What have I gotten myself into? All the foods were great. I liked the sour soup. I took my rice and poured in the bowl and made kind of a rice soup out of it and every one thought I was crazy? But it was good.

The rest of the Zoo consisted of a female lion and a half dozen eagles. These animals had no fear of visitors and again I say you could be stupid and try to pet one. The zoo also had a hotel on it that looked out over the top of the eagle cages and had a wonderful view of the islands if the fog would ever dissipate. When we left we went down the road a few kilometers a let a few of the ladies go horseback riding.  No way for Honey!  I wasn’t about to get on one of the little mustangs. I am against cruelty to animals – hehehe.

We continued on down the road to Imeda Marcos “Palace in the Sky”. As we toured the poorly kept “People’s Park in the Sky”, I related a story about Imeda being arrested at Tiffany’s in New York for stealing diamond buttons off a jacket and how they had captured the whole thing on camera. For a while some of the ladies would not talk to me for insulting their “1st lady of the Philippines”. The view there was increditable. If the fog would have dissipated you could probably see for hundreds of miles in all directions. Cold! This place is like Baguio. The wind was like getting hit with a wet shower, I was somewhat disappointed in the care for the facility. It was clear they made good money as a tourist site but so much of the place was literally falling down and there was even a dead rat floating in the water that had collected in the bottom of the empty swimming pool. You could see many “upper-class” neighborhoods around this mountain palace, most “American-like”, even golf courses. The whole area was about an hour south of Manila.

We finally got back into the comfort of the car and out of the wind shower and headed to another resort on the bay south of Manila. As I had landed in Manila the other night I saw this place. I remember thinking as I looked out the window that I didn’t know that Manila had people living in huts built over the water. Turned out that these were “rooms” you rented so you could fish, party, whatever.

It was a miserable drive. Traffic after you got off the freeways was typical congested, horn honking, ignore the traffic laws, and “take your own life out of your hands” affair. Amazingly enough it didn’t bother any of these Filipinas. Me – well I was back to my “Road Runner” imitations. I even asked if they next time they needed a horn if I could do it. “BEDEEEEP, BEDEEEEP! - hehehe.

We stopped at this resort because two of the Filipinas had worked there before and could get us in for free. The plan was to eat again with much of the feast we had pack and/or bought at the restaurant at the zoo, go swimming and then go into a videoke club where you could get private rooms and sing. After eating a similar meal to what we had for lunch and having been serenaded by a local band (played one of the songs I had sang Honey “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith) we decided it was too cold for swimming and headed to the videoke bar. What!! P150 per person per hour. I think not!! So we headed back to Manila.

As we approached the area of our hotel I was shown the nightlife here. And they do have some serious nightlife going on. They encouraged me to go club hopping with them but I could tell Honey didn’t want to go and my “jet-lag” was starting to kick in, so she and I headed back to the hotel. I think the most unfortunate thing about our hotel is I didn’t have a gun.  Yeah!  Because since we are only a few block from all that nightlife and picked a room only 4 floors up, that when the clubs closed all the drunks decided to make as much noise as they could leaving them. That’s how I happen to be writing this chapter. Couldn’t go back to sleep.

Well tomorrow will bring a trip to Davao and the eventual encounter with the “family” after my having made Honey move out. We’ll stay the 1st night at the same place I stayed last time, the Marbella Mansion and go to Honey’s old apartment to wash up the clothes.

BTW, lots of mis-info seems to be going around about passports and time it takes to get classes completed. All of the ladies told me that the CFO is not “anti-American” as I had earlier been lead to believe and that you do not have to get there at 4 AM to secure a place in one of the 3 classes. MOF, many said that most of the classes were not full. I have also been assured by near everyone that we will get Honey’s passport in Davao in 3 days even if there are typos and mistakes on some of the documents (like the birth certificate). I was told to just use another document.

More to come

Chapter 3

Just a reminder: these are my observations and not my intent to be judgmental or rude. Just things as I see them. The opinions you draw from them are your own.

We managed to get an early morning flight Sunday. On arrival in Davao we called lots of Honey’s friends who all wanted to meet me. Of course we had to rush to Greenwich for spaghetti (made with wieners?) and chicken first.

Then came the trip to her parent’s house. I was really dreading the event but Honey seemed happy and unconcerned so I eased up. When we got there I found out it was because that her father was not going to be there. Everyone welcomed us there. But then we found out that LBC had tried to deliver Honey’s K-3 packet Thursday but because she was not there they refused to leave it. Honey’s family had done as asked and called the girls at Honey’s apartment who were supposed to text her and let her know so we could come to Davao earlier to retrieve it. One of the girls at the apartment is a “CB” radio nerd and was too busy to pass the info on. We really thought we had blown it big time when we read on the LBC “missed delivery” ticket that the package would be returned to sender after 2 days and it had been 3 already.

Then Honey’s brother came home and asked that I come to his birthday party the next night at 8:30 PM. At the same time her mother was telling Honey that she need to come back the next day to talk with her father. This really bothered her and she really did not want to do it – so much she didn’t even tell me till the next day when we were heading there. We left and headed to her apartment. Only one of the girls was there and we were not able to let the one who didn’t pass on the info about the delivery how disappointed we were that she held this information to herself. Later we found she did say something to the girl who was going to text us but it wasn’t till we were already on our way there. Finally we went to our hotel and to bed. I was really worn out.

The next day was an out and out marathon. After breakfast we headed to the college to get a refund on her last semester of college since she had to drop out. I promised her she would finish her degree in the states rather that spend the next 5 months apart. But of course no one at the college that would refund the money’s so we had to come back later. Luckily though one of Honey’s professors was a friend of the Director at the Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA) in Davao and suggested that since we were so panicked that we point out the fact that if she didn’t finish the physical before her “period” started she would not get her visa before I had to go back home. She even wrote a letter to this effect for us. When the office opened we took the letter and all the papers we had and headed to the DFA. We were allowed in immediately without waiting. After filing our requested they said told us to be back in 45 minutes and we headed to the LBC office in Matinia. Honey’s package was still there – Thank God!!!!. Back to the DFA to complete our interview. Our request was pretty much ignored? When we went to pay the fees I asked what time to pick up the passport and was told in 3 days. We asked why our request was being ignored and they discussed it for a few minutes and said pick it up the next day between 3 and 4 PM. Wow!!!

Next we headed to the new Shoe Mart to get some things we needed and to meet one of Honey’s best friends Christie. We ate at Greenwich again, Christie met us there. Surprisingly, ShoeMart did not have any of the items we wanted so we headed to Giasano Mall. There we bought another suitcase, some shoes for me and a few other odds and ends. As we headed to our apartment I was dreading the late night birthday party because the “jet-lag” was hitting me again. This is when Honey told me we were having a meeting with her father!! Gee! Gosh!!! Thanks for telling me.

All the way there she complained and didn’t want to go. So I tried to find ways to comfort her and figure out what I was going to say. When I entered the hut I sat across from her father and we chatted politely but he actually waited for me to acknowledge him first. Honey and I sat down to eat, everyone else had eaten. There while we ate I told her to just do as we had originally planned, sent $100/month but make sure it paid for the phone and college of her siblings. She wrote instructions on how to use the ATM for her sister and then we gave her brother his birthday present and cake. We then sat the whole family down and told them what we were going to do. They graciously accepted the stipend. I went outside for some air and Honey’s father followed me outside. I pointed out to him I had been very foolish the last time and had spent too much money showing off and it took 6 months to pay off all I had borrowed and that I had hurt my neck and lost my job. And even though I now had another job and could still do well I had been really set back by all of this. He listened but didn’t say much back. Maybe it was the language difference – not sure.

Honey and I left to the apartment again where we met the rest of the household. After her showing me off a while we headed back to the hotel.

The next day was another go, go, go day. We went to Honey’s apartment to pack and Jonah, Glenn of Mag-Anak’s fiancée and a former pen pal of Zebson’s came over. She stayed with us the whole day. We got every thing packed and dropped this off at the Hotel then went and turned the phone back on at her parent’s house then rushed to Giasano Mall to meet with “RGG” from Planet-love (Roy Garcia) and his wife. It was great meeting people we chat with. We all went to Harana (which means serenade) for dinner. RGG owns a cell phone store beside Dhones Café in the Mall. After the lunch things moved into full speed. Honey wanted a special type of dress to wear to the physical, needed some makeup and we wanted a few odds and ends. We then needed to head back to the college to get the refund and allow her to say her goodbyes to her best friends. During all this Honey set down all her papers at one of the stores and in mall and caused us some frightful moments till we retraced our steps and found them.

The DFA was a piece of cake. In and out in about 30 minutes. From there we went back to the hotel and packed and headed to the airport to catch our 7:15 flight and get a bite to eat.  I just don’t remember Davao airport. It seemed like purchasing a ticket in a jungle village of South America with the local military carrying automatic rifles everywhere you went. Finally the time came to load the plane and we said bye to Jonah were she made me promise to take care of Honey and boarded the plane. Two hours later we were sleeping in a room at the Palm Plaza Hotel in Manila.

Some of the things that really surprised me is the fervor that they fight for positions while on the roads but yet do not seems to care when someone just cuts right-in in front of them while in lines. I am also amazed at “Philippine standards” for determining who is “maganda” or “pangit” (according to Honey that is). The Filipinas she thinks are the most pretty to me are not. Maybe it’s just me. Another thing I was really impressed with is that Filipinos don’t hesitate to show regards for friends and are constantly hugging and holding on to someone even if just walking while holding hands or wrapping their arm around someone. I know I have said this before but fellas Davao is a city of gorgeous single babes. If your looking its worth the trip.

Today we could not start the physical till we paid the fee at the Bank of the Philippine Islands (BPI). Actually went to 4 of them before ore would accept the money. Then we started hunting for St. Luke’s. Yeah everyone wanted to help us get there but they all sent us in the wrong directions. We finally got there at 10 AM. We stayed their till nearly 4 PM getting everything accomplished. Go back tomorrow for the results.

It saddens me to say that one of the girls Honey met during the process bragged about how she was going to divorce her 60 y.o. husband in a year and even brought her boyfriend to the physical. Supposedly the 60 y.o. guy agrees to this and actually loves her sister who is already in the states.

I am glad I have gone through this process with Honey. I never realized how much hoop jumping was required. These girls really have to go through a lot to be with us. Not to mention that they leave their families, home and countries to live with a guy they have known only a few months in a place where they hope life will be better but then they literally have to cross “t’s” and dot “I’s” exactly as a bunch of beauracrats tell them or the government won’t let them. It’s a combination of emotions hard to explain and is completely draining.

Honey and I ended the day by going to see the new Harry Potter movie and then the JollyBees for spaghetti and chicken of course. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

More to come

Bear

Chapter 4

Just a reminder that this is my observation not meant to be rude or judgmental. Your opinions are your own.

Finishing the physical was exhausting for me. I am sure for Honey as well. We talked to a lot of Filipinas going through the process and listened to their stories. Made the day go by a bit faster. Several, including some Honey knew, failed their physicals or didn’t have all the correct papers. One girl failed because she smoked a cigarette just before she took her x-rays. Another had her NBI clearance from Davao instead of Manila on certified paper.

We spent a lot of time at Robinson’s Mall several blocks from St. Luke’s and our hotel. I thought just for the fun of it I thought I would list all the American restaurants in that mall.

Burger King
Dairy Queen
Dunkin’ Donuts
Friday’s
Kentucky Fried Chicken
Marie Calendar’s Cookies
McDonalds
PaPa John’s Pizza
Pizza Hut
Shakey’s
Sbarro’s
Subway
Wendy’s

Most common food served at all was “spaghetti and chicken”. We have eaten at Fridays, Wendy’s, McDonald’s with not too happy results. Sbarro’s and Subways were “just like home”. The Dairy Queen only serves ice cream no hamburgers and extras like the States.

We attempted to go to Glorietta Mall and ended up going through a sales presentation for saving money. I guess for Filipino standards it was okay but nothing near a 401K plan. I had planned on doing some looking around the Makati area but missed out because of listening to the presentation. There are really some awesome and modern buildings there. I am very impressed with the architecture. I am trying to see if they use automation controls on their A/C and whose.

When we got back we called the Embassy and they told us that it would be at least 3 weeks before the visa would be through processing and that it had to be delivered to the address on the application. I have made some attempts to bypass the system. Not sure how it will turn out.

We wanted to go to Boracay and Baguio but are unsure if we should leave without knowing the outcome of our request for special consideration on the visa process.

The traffic is still beyond compare. We had to drive to a PLDT location to call the embassy on the 1-909-101-0011 number. It was amazing. I thought at one point our driver and another rather well off local were going to get into it. Our driver had cut across 5 lanes to turn left because he was about to miss his turn and the other guy had to lock his brakes to avoid hitting us. Probably spent half the day in taxi's.

At the Robinson mall, there is a place on the 2nd floor where they sale/repair and exchange cell phones. Since we thought we would not need Honey’s cell phone we left it with her family in Davao. But now we see she needs it. I was able to purchase her a Philips “Smart” cell phone for less than $40. If you intend to be in the R.P. for 2 weeks a cell phone for $40 is pretty awesome, even if you never use it again.

Well, got a lot to do so more to come.

Bear

Chapter 5

These are just my observations and not intended to be rude and argumentitive. The opinions you draw from them are your own.

With some spare time and not wanting to get too far away from Manila, Honey and I decided to see what sites were available around Manila. We found that there was a park called Nayong Pilipilno after passing by a “6 Flags” style park. It’s another of the old Marcos properties that at one time was a superior hotel, right beside of the airport in Manila. If you look directly across the freeway from the new NAIA PAL airport you’ll see an old hotel with all the lights out. 200+ rooms. It’s very eerie to see this hotel closed. It could have continued to be an increditable place but I guess the government didn’t get an offer they wanted so it’s closed and the grounds are used as another “peoples park”. Its one big “ghost place” now. The land around it was converted to a park of sorts. Many of the attractions of the Philippines are copied here. I think it’s not what we would consider a superior or even well kept park but there are some nice things to see. The volcano mountain mock–up of Mayon, the chocolate hills, rice terraces, different points of the different cultures and areas are all sites to be seen here. BTW, they charge Filipinos P15 to enter, foreigners pay $1. It also has a nice little lake in it and we took a boat ride around. Some pretty good tourist items but I was told that all these items could be purchased for much less in Baguio so we’ll wait till we go there. From one end of the park you can see the NAIA 3 airport being built. It is humongous.

We decide to eat at a restaurant there and walked into a wedding being conducted in one part of the facility. The wedding was very nice to see from a visitor point of view. We got some great laughs and some remembering smiles by watching from our private veranda view. Honey would not let me go over and make a toast to the couple!! They played some awesome love songs, so Honey and I were serenaded all through our meal. It seems we have found something’s we can both agree on to eat too. We both like green salads and fruit salads. So we had some soup, rice, lettuce salad, and fruit salad with mangos, watermelon, cantaloupe, oranges, grapes, pineapple and bananas in it.

We had planned to go to Baguio today but rescheduled for Friday. Most of the items I need for the business purchases I want to make I have been assured are there and I have found someone who can do the purchasing and shipping for me.

It never fails to amaze me the extend people will go when faced with poverty or what one will do to feel safe and secure within the realities of their lives. Since I started this chapter of my life I paid special attention to many things and events I saw. I personally knew/know so many Asian-American marriages. Seems that they withstood any/everything that confronted them, with some exceptions of course. Till this year I had only known of one divorced couple and one “problem” marriage. The girl who got the divorce wanted to make up but was refused and the girl who had to deal with the “problems” caused by a controlling husband refused to give up a life that was better than anything she had ever known.

When I saw these things and was more than a little intrigued and I knew if I ever had to make a change in my marriage I would do exactly what I did. But since then, particularly this year, I have seen people take drastic and totally unbelievable choices without any logic to the course of events. How people make these choices amazes me totally. Most people must have a reason, a plan to their course in life, perverted but a reason. Others seem to be completely controlled by these plans and purposes. Still others are the victims, willing and unwilling, of those with a plan. Fellas, this trip has put me in touch with two stories you all have only heard parts of. None of you know the whole truth and I am not allowed to say all I know. Both parties have indicated their intention to post their full stories because if you are looking here for a wife/husband you need to know the extremes as well as the norms.

I will always have respect for those who stretch out and do the hard, difficult and different things in hopes of finding the comfort zone they feel they need. I guess to me the disgust I felt with much of American family life, the things I see and hear and the anti-God aspect it seems to have to me sent me here. Many of you seem to believe like me but more along the lines that there just isn’t a woman for you where you live. When I talk with these Filipinas here and listen to why they would do this I am truly humbled. Many have nothing and want only the same things as you an me. They honestly believe by what they see and hear in the media that American men make the best husbands. Most want love, security, and loyalty. Yeah poverty and opportunity are motivating factors. Even as of late, I have seen how controlled some of these ladies are by their poverty, family and later husbands/boyfriends and yes even some by their desires. I will always think that there are no more courageous people in the world right now that these ladies. They give up their home, family, way of life, even their language to come to a different country to marry a guy they have know but a few short months hoping that the same things that you and I want will be found there. They have no one but you and possibly a few friends in a network of others who are going through the same thing to help. Most often and I do mean most often, the wall that brings them to an end is communication. Its like no one wants to talk. Everyone has his or her plan. Every one has a reason. But no one realizes that the smallest part of society is "family" not the "individual". We are all dependant on others for so many things in our life but the thing we should believe in and feel the safest with is our family, not ourselves. We let to many things cloud our view of the final results. Still we must make our own choices and we fail to use the tools provided to us to prevent mistakes – counsel with our spouses and prayer.

I am grateful to have Honey to share my life with and I hope there will be more good times than bad in our future. A family to grow and share with. Those of you who read this I hope you realize what courageous and awesome creatures have blessed your life and manage to hold on to them. Talk people, talk. The events I have seen the last few months and the last two days in particular would not happen if you would just talk.

More to come.

Bear

Chapter 6

Please remember this is just my observations and not an attempt to be rude or argumentative.

We moved from the Palm Plaza Hotel to the Atrium Hotel. Got a terrific deal that Helen would like to share with the rest of ya’ll as well. We are paying less than half the P1500 we were paying at Palm Plaza and this view is awesome. There is something of a mall on the 1st through 5th floors but it’s not completely developed. The room is much nicer with better cable TV, a bathtub, a love seat and chairs but we did have to give up the free breakfast and newspaper.

The Atrium is right beside the LRT and we decided we would be adventurous and take a ride on it this morning. We need to go back to the Robinson Mall where I purchased some glasses last week (tri-focal progressive for only $200) and they should be ready today. Yes this means the “old meanie” won’t let me get the lasik surgery. She is just so afraid I’ll get hurt. You can see the Robinson Mall right out our 21st floor window. It appears to be about 15-16 blocks south. The LRT goes right beside the University of the Philippines, which is about 2 blocks from Robinson’s Mall. We have made the trip this way several times and it takes about 45 minutes to travel the 16 blocks in a cab at a cost of P75-90. It’ll be interesting to see how fast the LRT is and how much it costs.

We found out that our 35MM camera was screwed up and a great majority of our pictures were ruined. All of those we took back Davao and at the park Nayong Pilipino (pouting). Honey wants to go back and take pictures again at Nayong Pilipino.

Next day:

Yesterday was quite a day. We went to Nayong Pilipino again and no sooner got there than Howard’s wife started calling us. So we left and met them at Glorietta Mall. She seemed pretty sincere in just needing so money to get back home and had standby ticket for the flight just no money for a variety of small things like the tax and terminal fee and few odds and ends (like money for her family I guess). I invited them to my hotel room and let her call Howard (love waking that guy at 4 AM – hehehe). Then she said once she had her flight confirmed she’d come back here and call him again.

There appears to be a new scam with the cab drivers, or at least new with me. They refuse to start their meters and tell you to pay what you want. AT first I thought it’s was okay but now after about the 5th or 6th time I see it’s just a way to scam foreigners. So when they refuse to start their meters we get out and wait for another cab. The LRT was only P12 and took less that 5 minutes to get us back to the Robinson Mall. I wish I knew more about the LRT and MRT so I could use them more. Very little published info on them and I get tired of bass-ackwards directions I am given.

The hotel here has nice accommodations but boy is it expensive. They want $2 to wash and press a shirt!!! There is not “free breakfast” and our breakfast this morning was over $10. We asked for a cab at the door and the hotel wanted to charge us P350 for getting it for us. I think they think way too much of themselves.

We finally finished seeing Nayong Pilipino then went over to what we thought was a pretty good looking mall from the outside, Coastal Mall. It was like a junk flea market on the inside. No major retailers at all.

I called the Embassy a few minutes ago and they said that at this time no K-3 are being issued. So it can still be a long time before Honey can come to join me in the USA. But I think its going to happen real soon otherwise they would not have St.Lukes packed to the door overflowing with girls on K-3’s to take physicals. Still I don’t know how I am going to get on that plane without Honey again. We really thought we would make it this time.

Lots of Mag-Anakers getting together with us tonight, Marianne-on-fire, Mary324, Laarni and probably Helen and Lily (who BTW passed her interview today. Look out James cause here she comes!!! Only took James and Lily 2 years on an I-130 - gossshhh). Let you know how that goes later. Still planning to take a car to Baguio Friday and Saturday and then meet with more Mag-Anakers Saturday night. Fly out on Sunday morning.

More to come.

Chapter 7

More of my observances not to rude or disagreeable.

After spending such a large amount on washing clothes, taxi’s, and eating out I started getting frugal. My funds starting to dip to the minimum I wanted to have when I left and I still have the trip to Baguio. Helen and Janie came over and took us to a dry cleaner that is washing and ironing our clothes for a total of P250. The only thing is that it’s so far away, closer to Harrison Plaza than our hotel. Oh well I guess sacrifices have to be made to save money – hehehe.

We rushed to get back from our trip to Nayong Pilipino and the cleaners because we knew May, Mary and Marianne were coming so that we could go out to dinner. Lily was totally excited about finally passing her interview. She was at Robinson Mall waiting on Helen and Janie. I think they wanted us to come with them but we already had plans. We tried to get them to come with us to no avail. Lily would have liked meeting Mary since they will be going to the same place in Hawaii, probably even the same military base were both of their husbands work.

I didn’t know where to eat at and several people recommended Aristocrat’s which sounded okay to me but then May said that Forest Café would be better and we ended up at Harbor View. Harbor View was a restaurant where you actually ate out over the water on a pier. From our view I could see quite a nice view of the bay and several ships in the harbor and even in the distance a “jack-up” rig for oil drilling. Back towards the city lots of skyscrapers but too many buildings are completely dark meaning that they are empty. Everyone wanted me to experience Filipino foods. So I let May and Honey order me what they thought I would like or they felt I needed to try. All of it was really nice and I guess I could make myself eat ampalaya but bitter vegetables are not a main stay on my diet. The shrimp was great, but they ate the heads!!! Gosh!!! Hmmmmm?

After the meal we all went over to the old Spanish Fort and Mission and took some pictures. I thought it was awesome to see buildings near 500 hundred years old still in such good repair. The architecture was so increditable. Then we went over to the old American Fort to see the ruins? What? Hmmmm? I think that statement says way too much.

They also showed Honey and I the performing arts building and told us the story of the many people who died because Imeda Marcos had this building built in Two months with out proper safety being considered. All of this is near a government project to partially fill the bay so that new lands would be available. But this has made the land prohibitively expensive and there is practically no commerce in the area.

At one part of the city I noticed four (4) very tall Condominiums. Three were so well taken care of, immaculate, then the fourth one – a ghost building. How does this happen. So confusing to me when they say the builder ran out of money. Ok but why not finish the building and sale at a lower profit than lose everything. So many buildings here like that. I think I have counted 15 or more. At the same time I can count from my window seven buildings under construction and I’m sure if I could see in the other four directions I would see even more. The mall we went to yesterday evening called Coastal Mall is a victim of this kind of thinking. They started the mall during a period of fast expansion and went belly-up before completed and no one finished it. I cannot imagine the lost jobs and effect on the community plus the effect of having such a massive structure, near empty, on the property values of the neighborhood. Particularly when this one is across the street from the empty condo mentioned above.

Honey was very upset yesterday. When we call the Embassy they told us no K-3’s were being issued as of yet. She cried a long time and even got a little “tampo” when confronted by Helen and Janie about it. She lay in my lap and cried for several hours this morning now that its almost positive we will have to separate again. I didn’t catch much of what she said when she was mad but it didn’t sound nice and I did hear the word “Embassy”. Even with all that it was nice to have her curl up in my lap for feel so safe and comfortable there. It is getting harder and harder to understand having to come home without her, but still it has to be done with the new job sending me e-mails detailing already my first days activities on Monday.

Honey did learn about “bathtubs” and bubble bath. She is currently relaxing in a hot bath with a wall of bubbles and grinning ear to ear. I think the trip has shown me that we will be closer than I had even thought. I never fail to see how much this girl really loves me and how much she is willing to show me. Even if she won’t agree to the “lasik surgery” and let me have more chocolates. I still get dizzy and headaches trying to comprehend how so much difference between AMs and Filipinas can be. I think Christmas will be the loneliest ever if she doesn’t get approved before then.

More to come.

Bear

Chapter 8

Once again this is only my observance and not meant to be argumentative. Your opinions are your own and not necessarially mine or what was meant by what I said.

The last few days seemed so hectic. We decided to go to the Zoo even though we had been told it was pretty miserable. Compared to American standards it was but actually for Filipino standards it was pretty nice. We actually enjoyed it. I didn’t know that the Philippines had its own alligators. I don’t think I have ever seen a horse in a cage though and they had several.

We left there and went over the Harrison’s Plaza. We ate at Subway’s again. Honey has really taken a liking to green salads with Thousand Island Dressing. That and a roast chicken sub, split between the two of us, is pretty decent. I was really quite pleased with this mall because of both the size and prices. We had considered purchasing a VCD player but could not find one that would work 120/220 volts and the prices we had been given were about P2700. At Harrison’s we found both the 120/220 volts and only paid P2300. Comically though the minute we paid for I was approached by numerous Filipinos trying to sell me "pornos". I wonder how they would have felt if they knew I held the priesthood? Well anyway Honey has 14 VCD/DVDs with karaoke on it now. I do not think I have ever seen karaoke DVDs here in the States but I really haven’t looked very hard.

We left there and got our clothes from the cleaners around the corner but it took us a long time to get there. See we made that mistake of listening to a Filipino give us directions again, of course, they sent us in the absolute opposite direction again. We had walked all the way back to the Zoo before we found out that it was in the other direction.

That night I was called by an acquaintance I had made at the Robinson’s who advised me that he had received a letter from the Embassy requesting “divorce paper’s” and that he was having a horrible time getting them to pick the papers up at his hotel. They wanted Randy and his wife to let LBC pick them up at her place of residency reported on the visa forms. I call the Embassy to see if I needed to provide such papers also. The person at the number Gene had given me had not ever responded to my phone calls. The 1-909-101-0011 number said that no K-3’s were being issued yet and would not for 3 weeks. Period. This of course sent Honey into tears again. Even Helen and Jane stopped by and could not calm her down. I think its cruel that we were told this because information I received from others would have allowed me to get Honey’s visa before I left but going by this information we changed our plans and went to Baguio for business purposes. Now I know that "if" I had stayed and gone to the “X” window at the Embassy, Honey probably would have come back with me.

The next two days were more go, go, go. We had Jane drive us to Baguio so that others we wanted to go with us could go also. She was supposed to be renting a small SUV for us. But she didn’t put down the deposit so when she went to pick it up the business had rented it to someone else. We had to get a smaller Toyota that meant that some that wanted to go couldn’t and the rest of us would be pretty cramped. Honey sat in my lap the whole trip there and back. Well I guess it wasn’t all that bad of a mistake – hehehe. She wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me all the way there and back – to heck with PDAs. Lily, who should be with her husband by the 13th of Dec., and her brother decided not to join the group. Helen’s cousin, who has a boyfriend in Holland was able to make the trip.

Instead of getting out by 5 AM like we intended we ended up getting started at 8 AM which is really way too late. It was 4 PM by time we got to Baguio and found rooms for all of us and got checked in. Before we got to the market it was dark and many of the attractions we had intended to see had to be put off till the next day. The business I wanted to do also was pretty difficult with it being a holiday weekend. But we were able to get some good info and leads for the items we wanted. We also took this time to purchase some warmer clothing for Honey for her trip to the USA. Man I'm glad to because my flight was COLD!!! We left the market early deciding to come back early the next day. We went back to the pensione house we rented and found we were only 7 of the dozens renting there. What privacy?

The next morning was another “I’ll never forget” experience. There were 3 CRs. None with hot water or a flushing camode. The sinks were all stopped up making shaving and brushing your teeth near impossible but the Filipinos acted like it was no big deal. I guess we American’s are just spoiled. The noodle “cup of soup” I usually eat for lunch was breakfast here? It was actually very good and familiar taste, for some reason I was quite famished. The bad news was Helen. She had been throwing up all night and was still throwing up that morning and continued most of the day. It’s hard to have fun when one of your party is that sick. We finally loaded up in the car and headed to the market again where I quickly located several suppliers. We also found out that the products I wanted were made in Zamboaga and Jakarta. Honey will get more info on some of the products back in Davao today and Jane will get more info in Manila.

We decided to do something I never do. Eat at McDonald’s. Here in the USA the food is packed with fats and all my doctors have warned me to stay away but I figured that in the RP it was sugar not fats that were added. Seems like every meal at these fast food restaurants tasted like sugar was poured in. Jena, one of Honey’s cousins, said that studies show that Jolly Bee’s had copied McDonald’s menu but added more sugar.

From there we tried to cover every site-seeing place in Baguio, buying fruits, vegetables and souvenirs at each one. Sorry I can’t write their names but I just do not have a good memory for spelling. We went and rented a boat and paddled around the lake at a park across from the market. Then we went to a park with lots of native flowers and plants to take pictures. Then we went to the old Army resort and took some pictures there - real nice views of the surrounding mountains. We left there and went horseback riding and this time I did ride one so I could coax Honey onto one. Okay send the "cruelty to animal" guys over – I don’t care. From there we went to the Overview lookout and took pictures and bought more souvenirs. Leaving there we went to eat again. It was getting very late and Honey and I needed another suitcase for all the souvenirs we bought. The meal was awesome. Mushroom soup, rice, and pork and chicken adobe. I was so thirsty I could not get enough to drink. I really think I was becoming dehydrated. After the meal we left the group and hurried over to the market and purchased another bag and on our way back got to stop and observe the native dances at a little stage near the lake we boated in earlier in the day. It was really quite interesting. All the girls could say was, "The natives don’t wear underwear". Tells you guys what they are looking at doesn’t it.

Making a quick stop at the pensione house for items left there and Helen feeling better; we headed back to Manila. I had a plane to catch at 6 AM and it was 7 PM. The stress was really wearing on me. All I could think about was soon I'd have to leave Honey AGAIN!!! How do such faux pas’ occur? Several times I noticed Honey crying because she knew I was leaving very soon. I think the trip was made worsened by Jane’s driving. Sorry Jane, you’re a nice person, and will make some guy a fine wife, but you are the worst driver I have ever rode with. Since it was much later in the evening we actually made it back an hour quicker than it took to go. I don’t think Jane went over 50 MPH the whole trip and I think she made most of it on the wrongs side of the road and with her bright lights on - click-click, click-click, argggggggghhhhh!

Getting to the hotel room meant packing. Wow! I really thought we were near ready but it still took near two hours to pack. The stress and mood was getting even worse when I finally logged on to Mag-anak and saw that Chris and Mary got their K-3. That really hurt because the day before they got theirs I was told that no K-3’s would be issued. If I had gone to the x-window instead of Baguio Honey might be with me but…. You know “ifs”… most of the vacation was wasted trying to “hurry” the Embassy trying to make “ifs”, facts. We woke up a few people to get Mary’s cell phone number to ask her a few questions and then called to pass the info on to others we knew there who only lurk our forums and don’t post. I sure made a lot of guys happy – wish it had been me.

Honey decided not to wait out the visa in Manila. She really missed her friends and family so after a few last minutes things we headed to NAIA 2 to get her a ticket to Davao and then to take me to NAIA 1. Every mile got harder. Honey only wanted to bring a few things so I said I’d take all her stuff ahead. Big mistake! They charged me for the extra luggage. After checking in I headed back out to stay with Honey as long as I could. They almost would not let me and had sent Honey to the waiting area. I was aghast thinking I wasn’t going to say goodbye. Finally they gave me 10 minutes and said that if I was not back that I would not be allowed to make this flight and they meant it – thanks al-Quida; I owe you another one. I found Honey and said our good-byes. Honey had called Mary to come be with her after I left. With the exception of the death of a friend it was the hardest goodbye I ever been a part of. I smiled and talked of how soon she’d get the visa, and how quickly we wold be together when inside all I wanted to do was scream and go back to the hotel. But with the new job starting Monday and my rent already 2 days late, I just couldn’t.

The flight to Nagoya was very quiet, as was most of the flight. In Nagoya a cute Japanese girl sat beside me and wanted to talk but then a Japanese man pointed out she was in his seat and she never said another word the whole trip – to him or me? I wonder why? After the dinner meal I took melatonin and slept till about 30 minutes outside of Detroit (11 hours). Once on the plane to Houston, asleep again. Of course, my ride forgot to pick me up in Houston to make the end of my trip perfect. Oh and now I get to wash and clean all this stuff I brought with me. Yuck!!

Honey didn’t let me wake her at 6 AM like I said I would. She called me. I had only been home about 30 minutes. Gosh I hate phones. So hard to hear. Oh well, back to the praying, writing and hoping.

Bear

Chapter 9

So much has happened since Dec 2nd I thought it necessary to post a follow up to my trip report. Once again it’s just my observances and your opinions are your own.

When I left Manila, Honey stayed with Mary324 until her flight back to Davao was due. She and I had discussed what to do about having not gotten the visa and where I wanted her to stay she wanted to go home. Inside I knew she needed to stay to facilitate her being able to speedily come to me but I also thought that was my selfishness poking out so I let her go home to see her family and friends once more while she waited for the visa. I took the laptop at her request thinking it would only be a few more days – another mistake. We could not longer chat and see each other on the cam.

Sure enough, as soon as she got home to Davao her brother called her and said a package had arrived from the embassy. She was so excited she called Mary324 and had her describe her package and since hers looked like the one her brother described she called me and told me she had gotten her visa. I am sure most of you saw the posts. When she picked up the package the next day she found out it was a request for a copy of my divorce decree. She had this 6-page document and said she’d send it immediately but the embassy said no they’d pick it up next week sometime. This was on Monday. Honey was wading in tears when she called me. I called the Embassy.

The Embassy tried to put me off like they had for 2 weeks but this time I said that I had just flown home after spending 2 weeks there trying to get my wife to come with me because she was afraid of flying alone and that we had these papers and that St. Lukes had refused to allow them in the submittals. I also said that there was absolutely no way I could get her home before Christmas if they did not let her send them from there rather than them pick them up. They gave in and said “I” could fax them and they gave me a number and said, “send it to “n” team”. I called Honey and had her immediately go and fax the papers. I made a mistake here (another one!). I forgot to have her call and see if they received the fax after she faxed it. The next day I decided to check and sure enough they said they never received them. This time I said they’d get a call from my congressman as soon as I got off the phone but they assured me I could fax them again. I had Honey fax them again and then call and see if they were received. They were. Her visa was approved that day.

This is where the 1st mistake hit us hard. She didn’t stay in Manila so we had to wait for the visa to be delivered to Davao. 7-10 Days they said before we could call and request a status. Well on the 11th day with the next being a holiday she called and checked the status, it was there and would be delivered the next day. Nope. Honey was there to pick it up at LBC in Davao that morning.

Now could I get her on an airplane? No problem. Tuesday morning at 6AM leaving on Northwestern!! Honey called “Mariene_on_fire” and asked her to stay with her while she was alone in Manila. I wanted her to stay with May10 but she said she was too shy to ask and she just didn’t want to stay with Helen and Jane again? (hmmmm?). I found out that many things were said in Tagolic while I was there that didn’t get passed on to me. Some were quite rude and insulting to Honey. Without Lily being there, she just flat out refused to stay with Helen and Jane. But I guess I would have too.

Then another faux pa. Honey had asked me to bring everything with me to the states. She packed, it I muled it, including her x-rays (carrying all that cost me an extra $220 for being over limit). The package with the visa said “hand carry your x-ray through immigration”. I had that!! Gosh!

Okay down to Fed-Ex. Yap. $48.25 to get it there by Wednesday. I called May10 and asked her to receive it for her. No problem there. Okay I thought. She can get a flight out Wednesday evening or Thursday.

Guess what? The travel agent could not longer get a ticket unless I wanted business class at twice the price. All seats were filled till Dec 24th. More tears, and extreme depression, on the possibility that she might not make it before Christmas. Aaarrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Well we decided to do what we had always done. Prayed together.

On Monday I called the agent and they were able to get her on a Northwest flight at 8:05 Thursday morning. That gives her Monday for the holiday (another one?), Tuesday to get the CFO stamp, Wednesday to get the x-ray from May10 and then the flight on Thursday.

Thursday night. Finally here in my arms? Can anything else go wrong?

Bear

As ya'll all know Honey got here to me on Dec 20th here in Houston.  We were able to spend or 2nd Christmas together here.

Expect the thrid "Bear Family Explores The Philippines" in Dec2006/Jan2007